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From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
Hearing nuns\' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
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I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
I\'m not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
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Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
I don\'t know why we are here, but I\'m pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they\'re yours.
The company doesn\'t tell me what to say, and I don\'t tell themwhere to stick it.
The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.
Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain
I\'ve just learned about his illness. Let\'s hope it\'s nothing trivial.
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
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I\'m not a member of any organized political party, I\'m a Democrat!
I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.
Finagle\'s Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
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One doesn\'t have a sense of humor. It has you.
A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
If it wasn\'t for C, we\'d be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
I\'ve never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I\'ve seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.
Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
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There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
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Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I\'m not sure about the former.
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
I\'m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
Lohr\'s Law: The future is merely the past with a twist ? and better tools.
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
We\'ve all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.
If quantum physics doesn\'t confuse you then you don\'t understand it.
Don\'t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can\'t remember what they are.
Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn\'t get bigger or heavier.
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Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is \'to be prepared\'.
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The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
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It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
I\'m trying to see things from your point of view but I can\'t get my head that far up my ass.
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She\'s 97 today and we don\'t know where she is!
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.
The difference between \'involvement\' and \'commitment\' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was \'involved\' - the pig was \'committed\'.
To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him
Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain
Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they\'re eating sandwiches.
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
If a man does his best, what else is there?
What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don\'t know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that\'s my position.
Research is what I\'m doing when I don\'t know what I\'m doing.
If all the world\'s managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one\'s doubts.
The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
You got to be careful if you don\'t know where you\'re going, because you might not get there.
Oh for pity\'s sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.
Sterling\'s Corollary to Clarke\'s Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can\'t remember what they are.
Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don\'t think.
Marry me and I\'ll never look at another horse!
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
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Those are my principles. If you don\'t like them I have others.
It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
Hanlon\'s Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There\'s also a negative side
A hen is only an egg?s way of making another egg.
Hearing nuns\' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
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Whether you think that you can, or that you can\'t, you are usually right.
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don\'t need to be done.
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
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Mit der Dummheit k?mpfen G?tter selbst vergebens
\'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible\', she said, \'but that alone doesn\'t make it true.\'
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don\'t add up.
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they\'re yours.
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
I\'m fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
If you can read this you\'re not aiming in the right direction.
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren\'t, then I\'d be a teacher.
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
Maybe this world is another planet\'s Hell.
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I have not failed. I\'ve just found 10,000 ways that won\'t work.
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
If it wasn\'t for muscle spasms, I wouldn\'t get any exercise at all.
What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
We don\'t like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
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We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.
It\'s not that I\'m afraid to die, I just don\'t want to be there when it happens.
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She\'s 97 today and we don\'t know where she is!
最終更新日 : 2012/01/26/(Thu) 10:27
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